Ron Weasley and the Tescos
by HPFANFREAK08
Summary: Ron goes to the muggle supermarket, how will it end?
1. Ensemble

**Authors Note: Alright I said I would do it, and now here is the first chapter of Ron Weasley and the Tesco's**

**Disclaim, Disclaim, Disclaim**

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It was an exciting day for one Ronald Bilius Weasley, because he had never been to a Muggle Shopping Centre, let alone a Supermarket, his steady girlfriend Hermione Jean Granger was going to take him, and was currently dreading it, as she knew what Ron was like around food she was worried for her credit card account and the people in the supermarket.

Hermione decided that it was time to face the music and so she went down the stairs, and faced what she had been dreading, she was quite shocked to see her boyfriend jumping up and down like a school boy, just as he had three years ago when he had finally received the Agrippa chocolate frog card, she smiled at the memory. He noticed that she was in the room, and jumped down off the couch before she could scold him, but she couldn't as she burst out laughing because of the scene before her eyes.

All morning Ron pestered Hermione about going, when she couldn't put it off any longer, they left the house, and got into the car. Ron complained about how slow muggle transport was, but she just said "we can't just materialise out of thin air in front of muggles." He didn't know half of the words that she had just said so she simplified it into what she and Ginny had come up with 'Ron Language' and said "We No Apparate in front of Muggles" he just nodded and mumbled something about why Hermione hadn't said that in the first place.

They finally arrived and Hermione tried to calm Ron down, before they actually went inside, she thought that if this was what he was like before seeing the food, how much worse would it be when they actually got in there. The couple entered through the doors, and Ron couldn't help himself saying "Wow!".

Every isle they went through, Ron found something to eat and wanted, he was simply amazed by the selection, when they got to the frozen foods, he shouted "LOOK HERMIONE, SEE WHAT THE MUGGLES DO WITHOUT MAGIC, AND THEY HAVE PRE-MADE MEALS! COME OVER HE-" he was cut off by a very passionate kiss from Hermione that she used to shut him up. He immediately shut up and followed her, they got everything they needed, then they entered the lolly isle…

Ron stopped and started to jump up and down like a little kid again, he grabbed everything he could find, unnoticed by Hermione, he had been doing this a lot. The selection partially freaked Ron out, there were no liquorice wands, pumpkin pastys, and the jelly beans seemed to be normal flavours. Weirdest of all was the fact that the chocolate frogs, didn't move at all. He didn't want to miss out on anything, and not understanding how supermarkets worked, started stuffing his face full of lollies, that came out of dispensers, Hermione turned around, and saw him. She stifled a laugh and said "spit it out" he shook his head and swallowed them all, "sprung!" he whispered under his breath. He followed Hermione to the counter.

They got to the counter and they started to unpack the trolley, when Hermione pointed at Ron and then in an unnatural deadly quiet scary voice, she asked "Bacon, Bacon, Canadian Bacon, American Bacon, Pork, Chocolate, Mars bars, Bounties, Red Vines, Chocolate frogs, and more, Ron do you think we are made of money?"

He responded with "I don't want to miss out on anything"

"Put all this stuff back now, and maybe you won't have to sleep on the couch" she said with a don't-mess-with-me look

He did as he was told, and she paid for all the things that she allowed, he returned with even more stuff, and she did the same thing, he returned again, but without a thing. Let's just say that Ronald Bilius Weasley found the couch quite uncomfortable for the next two nights.

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**Authors Note: You Like, You Love, You Hate? Let me know, I love getting feedback and it does make me a better writer**


	2. Alone

**Authors Note: I don't own anything you recognise however I do own Hermione's credit card**

It was early Friday morning, and Ronald Bilius Weasley was wondering around the house scrounging around for any edible substance to eat for breakfast. His girlfriend Hermione Jean Granger had been called into work extremely early that morning (about nine o'clock in reality) in Ron's opinion to work on something about elf rights or a conviction of a dangerous animal, well it was definitely something of that sort of thing. All Ronald knew for sure was that it had something to do with magical creatures.

It was about a year after the previous shopping trip (**Authors Note: Check previous chapter**) and Ron had never returned to the supermarket. Ron pondered about what he should do for food as there was obviously none at his home; he could go to The Burrow, but that wasn't fair to his parents, go and bug Bill and Fleur, however they had done so much for him when he had abandoned Hermione and Harry in the middle of the Horcrux hunt and after the skirmish at Malfoy Manor, and Victorie would be attention seeking, Charlie was in Romania, it was too far away, Percy was probably at the Ministry of Magic, George and Angelina, well George would mock him, and he didn't feel up to it today, Harry and Ginny , but they have a hyper three year old over in the form of Teddy Lupin, go and bug Hermione at work, nah he didn't feel like sleeping on the couch, which leaves going to the supermarket alone. Half an hour later, Ron left the house with Hermione's credit card for Tescos.

He entered Tescos and was simply amazed by the selection he could see from just entering the shop. H e went to isle 4, and looked at all the frozen meat, he got everything he could carry, then he went to go and grab a trolley, and he filled it up with what he had carried over to it and filled the rest of the empty space with different sorts of bacon. It felt weird to Ron, to be able to grab anything and everything he wanted and not be scolded for it. Ron went to go and get another trolley, he bought many soft drinks, a carton of eggs and then he entered the confectionary isle.

The isle was filled with all the muggle confectionary that you could imagine, that can be found in Britain, Ron wasn't as surprised by the lack of wizarding confectionary, surprised but it still caused him to become flabbergasted, not wanting to miss out he filled the second trolley full of chocolate frogs, Redvines, Cadbury chocolate and etc. When Ron got to the checkout, he didn't think twice about any of his purchased or what Hermione's reaction would be. He paid and apparated home.

Within two hours after arriving home Ron had either eaten everything or hid some of it because in plain eyesight you would not have been able to see any of Ron's loot, however there was a bacon-y smell in the kitchen, and that was when Hermione came home from work.

She unlocked the door, her senses were bombarded by the smell of bacon, she found her steady boyfriend fast asleep on the couch and she thought 'Oh so attractive'. The phone suddenly rang and she answered it, and she just so happened to be very interested in what the muggle bank were ringing her about and had to say about her credit card bill. Let us just say that Hermione was less than amused.

Ronald woke up from his nap, and immediately saw the unamused face of Hermione Granger.  
"Well hello Ronald." She said with a bitter tone in her voice  
"Why did you call me Ronald? You only do that when you're either annoyed or I've done something wrong" he thought about it and often those two things went together  
"I received a phone call from the muggle bank that I use my credit card with, today to discuss said credit card."  
"Really? That's interesting"  
"The bank and I discussed a massive five hundred pound transaction that I now owe the bank, which was charged today."  
"I wonder where that came from" said Ron growing even more anxious as every second passed  
"Ronald, you realise that the house smells of bacon, don't you?"  
"No?" he thought that he was in a deep hole, he would need a snorkel to breathe in a minute, because it was sinking deeper and deeper into the ground.  
"You went to the supermarket, and bought every piece of bacon and confectionary in sight, didn't you?" she asked rhetorically, and he thought that he might be able to survive without a snorkel, because the hole seemed to be sinking slower. "Couch for two weeks, oh and-"ok this isn't so bad he told himself in his head "- I've told your mother and Ginny-"and snorkel was needed "- and Ginny will be here in about five minutes." Then Hermione ran up the stairs and snorkel extensions were needed for Ron.

**Authors Note: Enjoy? Leave me some feedback and I'm sorry for the delay. If you liked my work, or not, visit my profile and check out my other stories, feel free to PM me with any questions or suggestions for stories to write, however I like canon HP fanfiction, and I don't generally stray from that. More stories are coming, I'm drafting them now, so that you don't have to wait much longer, I'm hoping to have this lot of chapters and stories finished by the April school holidays so that I can start a new batch. Raise your Wand for Richard Griffiths, may you RIP and watch over the post offices making sure that there is no post on Sundays.**


	3. Avec Rose

**Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taken me so long but I had schoolwork, anyway… Read on.  
The author of this story is not J.K Rowling, and doesn't own any of the characters, or anything from the wonderful world of Harry Potter, alas I also don't own Tescos, Disney, bacon I only own a computer, and I'm just borrowing them for your entertainment, and to have a little dabble in the world of writing and the HP fandom.**

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It was winter 2009 and Ronald Weasley was at home with his three year old daughter, Rose. Ron's wife Hermione Weasley (née Granger) was at his sister, Ginny's house with their one year old son, Hugo. Ron was finishing his paperwork from a mission he had returned from the previous day, while Rose was watching a Disney Princess movie of some description. For about an hour Ron did his paperwork, when he had finally finished he put his pen down, and heard his daughter scream "Bloody Hell!"

Ron ran down the stairs into the kitchen, where he saw his daughter tearing what she could reach of the fridge and pantry apart. She turned around to find her Daddy sighing in relief at what he saw in front of him. The movie had ended and so Rose had gone in search of a snack, but the house was empty and Rose was not impressed. Rose signalled to Ron that she wanted to be picked up, and being 'Daddy's Little Girl' he gladly obliged. Rose, still grumpy that there was nothing in the house to eat poked her father and said "Daddy, no food!" she could've said the full sentence, but she knew how to get exactly what she wanted. Ron looked at his little girl, he could see so much of Hermione in her; her attitude, her fascination with books, her nose, the shape of her eyes, but there was so much of him there too; the colour of her hair, the colour of her eyes, fascinations with food and her obsession with Quidditch.

Ron looked through the house and realised that Rose was correct. Ron was well aware that Hermione had banned him from going to the supermarket, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and so it was back to Tescos he went, this time Rose was coming too. They both got dressed and then Ron side-along apparated to the store with Rose.

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Rose ran inside the shop and Ron ran after her. Eventually he found her in the confectionary isle, with her arms laden with delicious muggle lollies and chocolate, Ron went and grabbed a shopping trolley after grabbing Rose. Once they had grabbed the trolley, they went back to the confectionary isle. Once Rose was satisfied with the pile of confectionary, Ron decided to grab some healthier things, that he knew that they needed at home, so that if/when Hermione found out, there would be something he had done correctly.

The shopping trip was almost over, until Rose ran away again, Ron ran all over the supermarket looking for her, completely ignoring the nagging voice inside his head saying 'CHECK THE BLOODY TOY ISLE!'. Rose ironically enough had gone to look for teddy bears, because she wanted to give one to Hugo, she found a really pretty, hot pink, princess teddy for Hugo, she thought it was perfect and couldn't wait to show her Daddy what she had found. Eventually Ron gave into the nagging voice inside his head and ran to the toy isle to find an ecstatic Rose holding a hot pink teddy bear with a tiara on it's head and a blue ball gown. Ron abandoned the trolley and went to go and scoop Rose up, she willingly obliged. Once Ron set her down on the ground, she showed him a teddy and explained why she got it for her little brother "See the dress is blue, and because Hugo has blue things, I think we should get him this teddy, Daddy." Ron laughed. Then Ron showed Rose a plain blue teddy for Hugo and she argued against it, eventually he lost the battle and Rose put Hugo's new toy into the trolley. Ron decided to finish this little shopping trip with a stop at the place where all the bacon is…

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Ron grabbed Rose's hand and the trolley and they walked their way to the meat isle. Rose ran as fast as she could holding her father's hand and grabbed as much bacon as she could carry and placed it all in the trolley. Rose then grabbed more and dropped it onto the pile. Rose had towed Ron to the bacon place, she was going so fast that Ron accidently bumped into a woman, he was going to apologise and then the woman turned around to face him and he saw his angry wife…

"Hermione-"he started to say before she interrupted him.  
"Ronald, what part of 'BANNED' don't you understand?"  
Rose ran back to the trolley with even more bacon and then realised that her parents were arguing again, she grabbed the teddy for 'Hugo' and said "Mummy, look what I got for Hugo!"  
Hermione sent a glare to her husband along with the we-are-not-done-talking-about-this look and said to Rose "Oh, that's lovely Rose. Why are you going to give that to Hugo?"  
"Because he needs a teddy, and this one is so pretty, look there's blue on it!" Rose indicated at the ball gown.

Hermione was well aware that Rose wanted the bear for herself, but she decided against saying anything. She sent them both home and continued the grocery shopping, discarding everything except the teddy, because it was so sweet. Ron was extremely uncomfortable on the couch at Harry and Ginny's for a week, but she did notice that he had tried to get some of the other things that they actually needed, and so when he was permitted to come home, he was allowed in his bed with Hermione.

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**Author's Note: I'd like to thank you for reading, and this is the last chapter of Ron Weasley and the Tescos. L It has been an amazing trip writing these for you to enjoy, and it makes me happy to know that people have read my work, so thank you oh so much! Please let me know what you think, and check out some of my other stories, seriously when I get an email saying that someone has reviewed, PM'ed, Favourited or followed me or one of my stories it makes my day. So thank you once again J.**


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